So, I decided to blog. I always seem to have lots of stuff I want to write about and quite a bit of it I would love to share with any interested readers. I set up a wordPress account and sat down to write something. First I went back over all of the things I have written recently. I found myself being super critical and none of it seemed worthy of a blog. I then tried taking some of the most recent ideas that I have yet to write down and found that I had nothing to say. Mute with a microphone! Ok, this is my day 2 challenge. How much do I want this? Am I willing to jump out there and wing it until it flows? Yes I am! Here goes nothing and everything….
My intention for today was to have a quiet morning. Coffee and meditation to start and then I would settle in to write. My phone woke me up. As I answered I knew my morning would be none of the things I had planned. The phone call lasted longer than I want to admit and when it ended I was broken and could do nothing but cry for a while.
Here are the things I am learning from this experience.
I’m a good listener. You can tell me anything. I will give advice or my opinion if you ask for it, or just listen and love you. I have always considered this to be a good thing. But is it? Where in all of that is love and respect for myself? Where are my boundaries? I love knowing that we are all one. I want the best possible life for all people. I want to continue to be a space of love for anyone who needs me. I guess I’m trying to understand what that means to me as I treat myself with love and respect.
Another thing that comes to the surface in all of this is the aspect of being a people pleaser. This is something I have to keep recognizing and letting go of. If I’m trying to please everybody, not only is it impossible, but it takes me away from the true path of my heart. My heart doesn’t seek your approval; my heart seeks a way to shine light and give love to all. People pleasing is something that is learned very early, and neuroscience shows us that the pathways associated with repeated behaviors begin to function like a piece of software initiated by some experience. So there has to be a deliberate change in the way I respond to create “new software”.
The last thing I want to talk about right now is definition. Bottom line, how I define the situation is ultimately what determines my action. If I define it as bad, I will have a reaction that reflects all of the reasons I think it’s bad. I will likely remember other similar bad things and make comparisons and forecast outcomes based on all of my experience with this kind of bad situation. If however, I can find a way to just let it be what it is and make no judgment; I can choose an appropriate action that affords both love and respect for all parties. Armed with a neutral definition, I can make the decision to lovingly walk away and make a different choice. I get to decide what is in my life and what is not. It doesn’t have to be a decision made when I just can’t take anymore, it can be lovingly made before things are out of control.
Thanks for reading!
Heartpath 